As I sit in the living room I hear the small freckled boy bite into his chip and then chew in such a way that I want to rip my ears off. All the while I am using the same yellow crayon that I have used for two years now as a highlighter. As I draw it past the ink rubs from the words rub off causing a smudged dull yellow look. Not the Danilion, joyful yellow it always is. I stop sharpen my crayon removing any dirt and try again. Nope still the smudge look. I fight myself not to throw my Bible and the crayon in the fire. It's ruined. Not what it should have been. And that chewing sound. He cannot be done with lunch fast enough.
Rage is rising in my soul. I know his mouth is closed. I know it's just the way he chews and there is nothing rude about it. I know it's me. Just like I don't want to be touched or talked to or have any contact with civilization. It's me.
After resting the darkness returned to battle me for my mind.
And He said to me, "My grace is sufficent for you, for power is perfected in weakness."
~ 2 Corinthians 12:9a
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